Darrn’s Testament

Text to accompany Paul Chaney’s exhibition Lizard Exit Plan, Kestle Barton Contemporary Centre for the Arts, Cornwall, 2014

Chaney’s exhibition Lizard Exit Plan detailed how the current population of the Lizard Peninsula in Cornwall could theoretically survive the aftermath of an unspecified apocalyptic event. This radical political tract from the technologically regressed peninsula is penned by a denizen of the future St. Keverne underclass, corralled inland and deprived of access to sea salt recovered from tidal pools (the post-apocalypse currency), writing in a language reconstructed, on the other side, from the scrambled and miscognised remains of a 2000s vocabulary obsessively centered on mobile phones and contracts, social media, and the rhetoric of climate change, fossil fuels, and sustainability.

fozlz 4 da ppl!
txtd by darrn in manaccan!

check it dis iz goin out 2 all clowd.

ppl. mosly pooltishns. can confriends abt wat is fozlz wat is not fozlz. wat is stainbl wat is not stainbl. + who shd get 2 stain wat. but 1 think i no-4 chaverz 0 salts meanz 0 fozlz. 0 fozlz meanz 0 burnin. + 0 burnin meanz 0 stainin. witch means like SANE KEVIN sez salts is r meat + r life. ppl sez salts iz all up in da wudderz. but wat needs sublimin. + pooltishns run da poolz and vontgard always gardin day + nite. zo pooltishns got contrack on r meat + r life + we gots 2 scrape 4 ee. pooltishns cot up in stonouse + we gots 2 cot up in fieldouse.

zo :-O wtf.

+ if salts is all up in da wudderz. y chaverz carnt sublimin it 4 wesel. y. cos ee got contrack on edj road. cos ee got appz + chaverz donut. it remines me 4 zample of wat SANE KEVIN sez abt zignal time b4. dat pooltishns poold up da zignal an ee sublimd it 4 chaverz. who gots 2 scrape 2 stain there zignal. pay iz u go. witch meand 0 salts 0 stain. so iz not jus ee gots contrack on da poolz. ee gots contrack on txt. if we donut got txt how can we get up in there appz + if we donut got appz we can neva pool salts 4 wesel. witch is not stainbl 4 us. so wtf ppl.

zolong as pooltishns got contrack on edj roads chaverzl neva b stainbl. not rly.

remine that epzode last zeason 1 when sanekevin massiv tride 2 ride over edj roads 2 covrack pool. ee was all like trippin an shit an like ee got four bar SANE KEVIN zignal in ee. ee rode rite up 2 fents. 1 think ee no iz-vontgard ad shanks. but 1 think ee donut no iz-vontgard eed zignalled up da fents wid a tradder badtree. turnt out after ee tuchit ee wernut stainbl lol. 6 ppl donut return call from dat epzode.

wat ime txtn iz. 2 ride over edj road u gots 2 got appz + no txts wat pooltishns no + upload it 2 clowd. like SANE KEVINz txts. pooltishns got dere clowd but chaverz got r own clowd witch we r always uploadin chat but neva tride 2 confriends 2 get salts + get contrack on fozlz 2 b stainbl. not rly. so wtf.